Restless

My mind is fumbling around thoughts and idea and failure. Failure...I don't fail, do I?

Let me start from the beginning...in July, I was looking forward to registering for the Aramco Half Marathon, I have yet to convince myself that I can complete the full marathon. Less than 24 hours after registration opened, I visited to the website, and to my surprise, the race was FULL. I was devastated. The only spots available required a minimum of $350 donation. Money I did not have.

I resigned myself to the idea that I would not run this year. Today, for some divine reason, I opened an email from the Chevron Houston Marathon and read the announcement, "There are still available spots." I continued to read and saw the catch...more money than I had was involved. A donation or fundraising was needed to be able to gain one of these spots.

At that moment, I remembered a sermon from Pastor Mark from two weeks ago. He was talking about changing your story. He read an excerpt about a man who promised $25,000 to build a place for children. This man did not have the money, but he needed something more. He needed to give back. He needed to trust in God. I thought it wouldn't hurt to look into it.

While scanning the marathon email, an organization popped out at me, Young Texans Against Cancer: www.ytac.org. I never knew anyone with cancer until Laura Shook announced that she had been diagnosed with cancer. Laura is our pastor's wife. She is beautiful and vivacious, and her smile beams across the room. I have never had the courage to say hi although she appears to be highly approachable. Laura has a blog, and I read it religiously. I follow her and cry with her and laugh with her. I feel like I know her. I am so inspired by her courage and unfaltering devotion to God and His purpose. I thought of Laura when I called Tom at YTAC and left a message inquiring about the open spot.

The return phone call from Tom came at 6:15. His voice was full of excitement. He told me a little about YTAC, and then...then came the dollar amount needed for the spot---$1,000. WOW! I was almost speechless. Was he for real? I needed to raise $1000.00? I barely have time to sleep. Oh, and did I mention that whatever part of the ONE THOUSAND dollars was not raised, I would be responsible for, and it would be charged directly to my credit card? (I don't think Dave Ramsey would like this idea one bit!) I continued the conversation, and he let me know he would email the commitment form and some additional information.

As I hung up the phone, I sat in amazement. How was I going to do this? I prayed. What was I suppose to do? Push myself? Believe in myself? Change my story? There was a reason God presented this opportunity, this challenge. I decided I was ready to accept it. What's the worse that could happen, Iwould fall on my face?

I went to school, and I could not stop thinking about the challenge ahead. All I needed to do now was break the news to my boyfriend. I called Victor, gave him all the details, and he said you can do it. (He also suggested a rubber mat for the face-falling.)

So...here we are, Day 1. I will sign the commitment tomorrow and start this journey. I am strengthened by God's belief in me that I am bigger than I know.

Psalms 20:4 "May he give you the desire of your heart and make all of your plans succeed."